Don’t Attend Shimer College

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If you’re thinking about Shimer College, then reconsider. Here are a few reasons why you shouldn’t attend Shimer College.

1. Shimer College provides a “liberal education” but isn’t in itself “liberal.”

Though we like to create boxes, Shimer doesn’t fit in one. And it is most likely for people to call it a “liberal” school without knowing much about it. Despite being a school that infamously calls itself “dangerously optimistic,” it is not making a political statement but rather an educational goal — creating a society of rational thinkers. Perhaps the politics lie on the hope that people who go through the Shimer curriculum will have the rationale not to misuse it or abuse their education at the expense of society.

2. Shimer College is a terrible place to get a technical degree.

Want to leave Shimer with some immediately employable skills? Perhaps you’re going to have to highlight “communication skills” and “Microsoft Office” on your resume. At Shimer students aren’t given expendable skills but improved facilities. Those who graduate Shimer should not fear needing to ever go back to school simply because Shimer gives students the skills to teach themselves how to do things. The world isn’t made intentionally difficult. New technology follows patterns, and Shimer will teach you how to sort out those patterns.

3. Shimer College is self-sufficient and self-governed, so you get a say in what happens to the school.

Talk about annoying. Who wants to have opinions when it comes to the administration of your school? Who wants to serve on committee boards, attend bi-semester meetings, and assemble with faculty and students and staff to discuss a common interest and goal? Pfh, not me. I’d rather sit back and let the donors figure out my education. Heck if I know anything. All I want to do is get my degree.

4. Shimer College makes you very, very excited to learn new things.

Imagine waking up and wanting to read 40 pages on logic. Who got time for that? Not me. I enjoy the pleasure of the passing moments and never quite understanding why they pass or how things work or why certain people think I’m a certain way due to their social constructions on my ultimate reality. Wait, what did I say? I think I need to recover from reading so much.

5. Shimer College will give you inspiration to reach out to your community, no matter where you are, to volunteer and to serve as a human being under your own convictions.

Some people like to accept others under the assumption that they don’t know everything, and so who are they to judge? These people are stupid because we all know there is a solid right and a solid left. Depending on what family you are born into, you’re either a Democrat or a Republican, and there’s no straying. You’re either a whatever or what. There’s no other path! There’s only right or left — wrong or right — black or white.

((And we all know how ridiculous that is.))